English 9 Guest Series: Strengthening bonds during COVID-19 can make the difference between calamity and opportunity
By Aanna Alba Farhang ‘23 and Ben Rosenfeld ‘23
At 10 o’clock, I wake up, roll out of bed, and go downstairs to eat breakfast. It’s a Monday in the middle of April. Searching for anything positive in the pages, I flip through the newspaper. I check my phone to briefly see the faces of my friends, who I hardly even recognize. The fatigued delivery person delivers a package, and I wrap a bandana over my mouth to collect it. Gazing at the clock, I realize there’s only five minutes until I have to watch a frazzled version of my teacher struggle to gain the attention of my peers while a cat prances in their background. Feeling unmotivated, I yawn and start to put my head down. Has any good from this lockdown?
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs and see my sisters run over to my screen and yell, “Hi Ben’s friends!” No, my sisters are not eight, they are 19 and 20-year-old college students. Last year, the younger of the two graduated from high school and the older one was deep into college, so I thought it would be the last time we all lived under the same roof. Now, with their school closed and everyone having more free time, I find myself grateful to be able to spend so much quality time with them. I have enjoyed going on runs, doing homework, cooking, and just spending time with my sisters during the past few months. Every time I see them, I feel so thankful that I have the opportunity to have one last time together before we all go our separate ways. Who knew something good would come of the quarantine.
During this dire time in the middle of a pandemic, it may seem like everything is going wrong, but with our schedules opening up it is essential to seize the opportunity we all now have to connect with our close friends and family. For example, Catlin Gabel School (CGS) student Lucas Holliday said that for him, “It’s easier to get closer to [his] family during quarantine,” and he believes that, “It’s important to be close to some people that you can turn to.” For this reason and more, it is crucial to strengthen the bonds with the people immediately around us, especially now during this era of the coronavirus, because you will be more healthy, less stressed, and feel less alone. There are a variety of ways to get closer to family and friends, even in a time like this, by playing games, baking, and talking through FaceTime and Zoom.
Strengthening bonds with those close to you is an outlet to reduce stress, be healthier, and feel less isolated. Forming close relationships is an extremely effective way to reduce stress. Specifically, a Harvard Health Publishing article “The Health Benefits of Strong Relationships” references studies by scientists investigating the biological and behavioral results of connecting with others. The researchers found that formulating close bonds helps relieve stress, since caring behaviors trigger the distribution of stress-reducing hormones. Subsequently, the result of lowered stress can also make a person healthier overall by improving function of coronary arteries, insulin regulation, the gut, and the immune system.
The same Harvard Health Publishing article states, “One study, which examined data from more than 309,000 people, found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% — an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical inactivity,” illustrating that strengthening bonds is a simple and hugely effective way to be in good physical condition. Not only does this help physical health, but it also improves emotional wellbeing. In an article written by HeadSpace Blog, a company dedicated to improving people's mental wellbeing, “Why Are Relationships Important,” asserts that allowing yourself to be vulnerable with other people about your experiences can make you both feel more connected to each other. This occurs because when people discover shared experiences, they cultivate a sense of relation.
The connectedness with either people you are quarantined with or people you are virtually speaking to can reduce your feelings of loneliness as well. This is not solely a modern idea, but an example of the benefits of relationships can be shown through the historical and well known Shakespeare play, “Romeo and Juliet.” In the play, Juliet has had broken relationships with members of her family throughout her life, however her new relationship with Romeo finally makes her exponentially happier and she feels less secluded in the world.
Additionally, Brad Wilcox, professor of sociology and director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, said, “When society is facing a tremendous challenge or there’s a big uptick in suffering, people orient themselves in a less self-centered way and in a more family-centric way.” Wilcox’s statement supports the claim that having strong bonds with those around you in difficult times can result in those people becoming more “family-centric,” making you feel less desolate in times where you are prone to feeling lonesome in this battle against the pandemic. Given these points, improving connections with the people near you is known to be a stress-reliever, a tool to become a healthier person, and a way to feel less isolated. These can be valuable assets while facing the hardships this pandemic is throwing at us.
During this time, we are also lucky to have many ways to get closer to those around us. No matter your interests, there are always fun and effective activities to do with the people close to you. Willa Whalen-Stewart, a CGS student, when asked about what her family has been doing in quarantine, said, “We’ve been trying to find new activities to do as a family like watching TV, baking, and playing soccer.” This idea is echoed throughout the several interviews we conducted, with students sharing how they are using this time as an opportunity to learn something or grow with their families.
We have found it beneficial to try out a new TV series, recipe, or exercise. While “Tiger King” and “The Last Dance” are immensely popular, there are countless programs for you and your family to bond over. Also, as our overused oven can attest, my family and I have tried out many new baked good recipes and ventured into the lifestyle of smoothie making. However, my favorite way to spend time with my family is to exercise with them. Going on runs, playing sports, or even doing yoga has brought me closer to the people alongside me, and I feel healthy and good afterwards.
Nevertheless, it is important that you treat those around you with as much care and pleasantness as usual (if not more), as it looks like you’ll be stuck with them for a while! In an article for the Huffington Post, Lena Aburdene Derhally writes, “You can only get away with flaky behavior for so long before people stop putting up with it.” While your hygiene and social awareness might slowly erode, the manner in which you treat others should not. Use these pastimes to advance the connections between family members and friends, and see the rewards come to fruition.
Although it may seem difficult to spend time to strengthen relationships with your friends, there is still a way to do activities with your friends while social distancing: virtually. While it might give the feeling of being out of the ordinary for young people, in a BBC article, “How coronavirus has transformed the way we communicate,” Tiffanie Wen writes, “...since many of us are cut off from normal social interaction, we are opting for voice and video calls as the next best thing,” through FaceTiming instead of texting. Likewise, CGS student McKenzie Compton talks about the importance of virtually connecting with friends when she says, “Now that we are so removed from friends, when I do talk and FaceTime with them it makes that time together seem more special because I can’t see them in person or that often.” Through the combination of increased family-time and virtually connecting with friends, people have shown how you can make a troublesome situation a little more bearable.
Instead of dwelling on the endless canceled events, dismal headlines, or your lost ability to remember what day it is, see the smoothie glass half-full and enhance the connections with the people close to you through activities such as playing games, cooking, and talking through FaceTime and Zoom. The benefits are endless: better health, less stress, less loneliness, and overall better spirits. As people who have experienced the strangeness of not being around siblings due to them being at college, take this unprecedented chance to seize this opportunity to spend quality time with your family because who knows when you will ever be in this unique situation again.
