OPINION: The great silence finally broken

By Sam Bailey ‘23

Note from the author: 

Expressing one's thoughts and feelings to a large community takes a great deal of bravery.  Using one's voice to call out the system takes a great deal more. Thank you so much to those willing to put themselves out there on the line in the name of change. 

The 2021-22 school year marked the departure of several beloved members of the Catlin Gabel School (CGS) staff, including the Director of Equity and Inclusion Jasmine Love, and former 9th and 12th grade English teacher and co-leader of Honors Dialogue for Democracy Krystal Wu. At the end of the 2022-21 school year, the community will say goodbye to yet more treasured teachers, including, but not limited to, the Chair of Upper School Mathematics Kenny Nguyen, Head of the CGS Middle School Ted Chen, Middle School mathematics teacher Michele Hoang, and renowned kindergarten teacher Mimi Tang, who is taking a year-long leave. 

In recent months, it's become increasingly clear that representation among faculty will take a significant hit in the wake of such an exodus. Every member of staff previously mentioned above identifies as Asian American or Pacific Islander (AAPI) or Black, Indigenous, Person of Color (BIPOC). With their departures, the community will lose powerful educators who greatly contribute to our school’s diversity. 

Why are so many AAPI-identifying staff leaving now? How will the school be affected and how did this come to be? And what is the impact on AAPI students?

Hoang believes that she may be able to shed some light on the uglier realities for members of staff that identify as Asian. “I made the decision to leave after seeing so many people of color leaving over the years, and not seeing what the school has done in terms of retention when the POC were still here.”

Hoang described the ways in which the student body has become deafer to the requests from staff. She also praised the school’s efforts to create a more diverse community, noting that the number of POC-identifying students has noticeably increased in the past several years since her arrival in 2016. Hoang explained that a diverse student body is no full guarantee or solution to racism and issues surrounding students’ wellbeing. Hoang elaborated upon how even with steps in increasing equity and inclusion on campus, the work has barely begun. 

“Whenever we have racial issues that come up, it doesn't get addressed in a way that will help our community grow. It continues to center around the predominant voices in the community and we’re each afraid of the uncomfortable conversations and our focus is on the person who did the harm vs. the victim.”

Hoang described raising these issues with her colleagues and supervisors. “The things that I see and say out loud sometimes get misinterpreted and not taken seriously. These are like issues of students' safety and harassment and sexual harassment and racial issues sometimes get explained away as students just being boys or MS students. We must move away from that and have a system in place that educates our community when these issues come up.”

Upon hearing this, it became clear that a sense of involuntary silence had become yet another driving force in Hoang's resignation. She believes that the toxicity of the environment around her gaslighted her and forced her mouth shut after being ignored and not taken seriously. Due to growing concern over the work environment being described, I asked her if she felt safe. In emphatic yet despondent tones, she replied, “No, I do not. For most people of color to survive in the school as an employee, you almost have to close your mind to it and not see it happen.”

US mathematics teacher Traci Kiyama described experiences with sexism and bias at a higher level, affecting her peers as well as herself. 

“I think that had it been a different person to have brought these things [issues of race and discrimination] up, it would’ve led to actual action. In the Upper School, when a white man addresses an issue, action is more likely to be taken.”

Kiyama was not able to give any specific examples in an effort to protect the confidentiality of her colleagues. However, she remains firm in her testimony, stating that “I have seen concrete examples. She made the point that if they [Administrators and those in the institution in positions of power] were asked about said biases and favoritism, they would believe wholeheartedly, to no fault of their own, that they are not participating in such actions.”

This is why education and training around exposing such implicit biases is an important step in taking action. Despite this, Kiyama does believe that there may lie some intent behind the shelter of ignorance. 

“People [AAPI members of faculty] are not being respected and are being taken advantage of.”

The consensus amongst many staff members identifying as part of the AAPI community is that a toxic work environment may be a contributing factor in the disappearance of many BIPOC members of faculty. However, the issue extends farther than just a concerning workplace issue. Staff representation plays a crucial role in the development of students, which is extremely damaging to the relationship between students and teachers. Current Interim Director of Equity and Inclusion Connie Kim-Gervey gave insight into the said relationship as both an advocate and a developmental psychologist. 

“How would I be different if I had seen other Asian women successful in diverse ways when I was young? Or, better yet, if I had engaged with diverse individuals across different identities doing everything and anything? Might that have made me a different person than I am now? As a developmental psychologist, I say ‘Absolutely!’” 

Kim-Gervey argued that this relationship can have many positive effects on younger students, that “Seeing, engaging with, and learning from adults of all backgrounds opens people’s minds to every person being human, regardless of identification. Having diverse representations as ‘normal’ is especially meaningful for how students learn what the world is, how to make sense of it, and who belongs at the center of things.”

In the wake of such loss, both teachers and administrators believe that this is a point in which there can be time for reflection and reevaluation as together, many all look to the future of our institution. Assistant Head of School Barbara Ostos acknowledged these issues raised previously and provided some insight into what the school is doing to move forward constructively from this. 

Ostos described the somewhat common feeling of second-guessing oneself, especially when gaslighted by fellow colleagues and described specific steps being taken to help bridge the communication gap between staff and administrators. 

“To this end, we are planning on creating a system in which an annual anonymous way to submit experience surveys because without that being collected well, it doesn't allow us to potentially dismiss such experiences.”

Ostos emphasized that “figuring out how to have effective communication will help people being heard, and how it's always very difficult when beloved members of the community depart.” She points out that it's “also important not to create a monolithic story or narrative of why people are leaving.” This is true, however, while there is no one reason for this mass departure, one cannot disregard the overwhelming consensus reached and felt by many BIPOC staff. Ostos understands this and “as a person of color, experiences similar instances of being ignored on the basis of race as well as sex.” 

Looking to the future aspirations of CGS both Hoang and Kiyama shared their hopes for the school in the years to come. 

Hoang stated, “We talk a lot about being a community where people are kind and inclusive and live with integrity. Incidents have happened where we’ve had community members that haven’t been living up to these values, and as a school, we must figure out a system that would address that and what that would look like consistently.”

Kiyama emphasized the importance of unity in these times of division.“I hope all the students can come together and stand up because there is a lot of really stupid sh*t that happens at this school and my heart breaks every time I hear the stories from students and the stuff you have to put up with. So from there, I hope everyone can see we have a shared Identity and we can speak up and make change together.”

It’s abundantly clear that CGS has the resources available and the people such as Kim-Gervey in places ready to make positive changes to the systems governing our employees and students. Leaning into discomfort is an essential first step to help us move forward. However, we must first acknowledge the shortcomings of our systems and the toll they have taken on some truly wonderful people.