By Hazel Walrod, ‘22 and Ava Yu, ‘22

Content warning: This article goes into depth about racism experienced by students and includes references to racial and homophobic slurs.

Catlin Gabel School (CGS) prides itself on being a progressive school community. It was a wake-up call, then, when a racial slur was carved into an Upper School bathroom wall. Whether it was an isolated act of aggression or an example of systemic hate, the event revealed the ugly truth of racism at CGS, and more broadly, the history of racism and exclusion at private schools.

Part I: The Timeline

On November 18, 2021, a student found the n-word carved into the Upper School outdoor science bathroom wall. Soon after, the bathroom was closed and the message was erased, although not before a picture was taken. An email was promptly sent out by CGS Administration, followed by an assembly broadcasted via Zoom in C&C. During the assembly, Upper School Head Aline Garcia-Rubio condemned the act and assured students that the administration was searching for the perpetrator. She threatened expulsion as a possible consequence for whoever was involved with the incident.

Earlier that month, members of administration met with the ninth-grade class about the usage of slurs within social groups, including the f-slur and the n-word.

Coming back from Thanksgiving break, members of CGS affinity group, The Real Inseparable Black Experience (TRIBE), spoke to the Upper School in an assembly and, in C&Cs, students practiced disrupting oppressive language through example scenarios.

Part II: The Community Response

In December, we sat down with Garcia-Rubio and Dean of Students John Harnetiaux to discuss the racial slur on the bathroom wall.

“I wasn’t surprised, but I was really sad and angry,” Harnetiaux shared as his initial reaction to the incident. He cited similar issues at other schools as evidence of a more national trend, as well as his inside knowledge of racist incidents at Catlin when they occur.

“Schools are places where larger societal issues manifest,” Harnetiaux said. Garcia-Rubio echoed this statement later on as well.

“I was surprised.” Garcia-Rubio expressed. I was angry, I was disappointed, I had compassionate hurt for the person who found it.”

Part of the reason for her reaction was the intensity and intentionality of the crime.

“This felt like an act of aggression,” she commented. “It felt so incongruent with how we are trying to be.”

In order to pool student perspectives, we sent out an anonymous survey including questions about race/ethnicity, grade level, experience with racism and use of slurs, the strategic inclusion plan, and anything else they would like to share on the matter. Every question was optional, so students only filled out what they were comfortable with. We recognize that since the survey was optional, there is user response bias and it is likely that we received responses from students and faculty that have stronger opinions towards the subject.

Among students surveyed, a large percentage said they were not surprised by the incident, pointing to a discrepancy in how the administration might claim students feel, versus how they actually feel.

Note: Some quotes were edited for grammar and punctuation.

“I was slightly shocked that it happened, but also unfortunately not too surprised because of the social culture at Catlin,” wrote another.

“I was angry and frustrated, but I didn't expect anything better from this school. They do not take action when things like this happen. They didn't even punish the people who bullied me in Lower School, and they often ignore problems. This school fosters an elitist and white supremacist culture,” shared another student.

There was a mix of responses, though, as some students also expressed that they were shocked.

“I was just surprised that something like that would happen,” one student remarked.

Senior Lola Diaz Gonzalez shared her own views on the situation.

“I was pretty upset with our community and like with the lack of respect that was shown to not only the Black community but to the overall community of Catlin.”

Erica Babino, Assistant Director of Equity and Inclusion, also shared her thoughts on the issue. Her thoughts seemed to echo those of Garcia-Rubio and Harnetiaux.

“I was not surprised. There has not been a rise in racism (as it has always been there for marginalized peoples), yet in the last six years, there has been an increase in breaking boundaries of basic respect and a national encouragement to openly express racism and hatred.”

One of the challenges in exposing and combatting systemic racism at CGS is how students, faculty, and outside community members perceive the school as progressive. In this setting, acts of racism and hate are seen as alien and unexpected, even when the deeper culture of the school may perpetuate it.

“Sometimes being in such a progressive city like Portland or a progressive school like Catlin can hypnotize us into thinking that those systems of oppression don’t exist here,” Garcia-Rubio said.

There are four pillars to a progressive education as Catlin Gabel defines it: education for democracy, experiential learning, putting students at the center, and inquiry-based learning. The goal of CGS is to foster empathy and inspired changemakers through proactive learning.

“I think we have an ethos at this school about inclusion and care and kindness,” Garcia-Rubio said.

However, the vandalism of the bathroom wall was a serious call to action for the administration.

The attitude of many students, as well as the testimonies of racism on campus challenged the more hopeful lens of Garcia-Rubio and Harnetiaux.

Part III: The Lived Experience of Racism at Catlin Gabel School

Included in the survey we sent out to the community, we asked whether students and faculty had experienced or witnessed racism, in order to get a more authentic picture of the Catlin experience.

Out of the 24 responses, 13 said ‘yes’ they have heard or witnessed racism or use of slurs. Out of the 10 responses from students and faculty of color, 7 said ‘yes’ while one said ‘unsure/maybe’ to the question “Have you ever experienced racism/microaggressions at Catlin Gabel or by Catlin Gabel community members?”

The responses we received from students and faculty, the majority of whom were ninth graders, were alarming and disheartening. Here were a few striking quotes we pulled from the survey:

“I’ve heard people make not only racist jokes, but also just talk about things that are just immediate red flags (jokes that kind of demean women, etc.). They've made sexist jokes and homophobic jokes and just talk about other obscene things.”

“I've heard people say slurs. I've heard people say all Mexicans are drug dealers.”

“I have had [slurs] used towards me, and have heard of them from other students.”

“Some students say [the] n-word as a joke.”

“In MS: being asked where I was from even though I said that I was born in Portland, OR. A person who I considered a friend at the time mocking my last name (people were trying to learn how to pronounce it and they just started mispronouncing it on purpose saying things like ching-chong, etc.).”

“I can't really remember when but I remember during an assembly (in middle school), I felt people touching my hair, they stopped when I turned around and when they realized I could feel them.”

“Not sure if this counts, but people constantly mistake me for other Asian girls even though I've been here for a long time (happens consistently, not just a couple of times on accident).”

“Throughout Lower School, I was often questioned about my knowledge of the Spanish language by my peers. I was asked to imitate an accent, and told that I was only calling my mom "mamá" in an effort to sound more Spanish. In fourth grade, someone put beans multiple times in my cubby and the cubby of another Latino student (the slur "b*aner" refers to Mexicans, which I am not but they didn't seem to know that).When [this was] brought … up to the school administration, they told them that they ‘hadn't heard that word before,’ and dismissed it.”

Given the responses to our survey, it seems as though Catlin’s culture is much more entrenched with racism than we had initially expected. Even at a place that works so hard to be inclusive and progressively educate its students, racial slurs and oppressive jokes are still circulating.

Part IV: The Racist History of Private Schools

Segregated white Schoolroom vs. Segregated Black Schoolroom | Image Source

The pattern of racism at CGS could stem from its historic roots as an exclusionary institution by nature, rather than any action on the part of the school’s administration.

Historically, private schools were used as a way to continue segregation and exclude people of color.

“I think it is important to name the fact that the majority of independent schools came to be from people who have wealth,” Harnetiaux pointed out. “For many many years, independent schools served white families, and in that sense there was a perpetuation of the system.”

A massive public education movement began in the South during Reconstruction. At the time, the majority of white children receiving education were doing so privately, and there were little to no educational opportunities for Black families.

When Reconstruction ended, the South adopted Jim Crow segregation and schools were separated by race under the “separate but equal” doctrine.

In the North, while there were no Jim Crow laws, school segregation followed the segregation of neighborhoods between Black and white, through practices such as redlining and selective funding.

However, when the Civil Rights Movement was able to overhaul segregated schools, there was extreme resistance to integration.

According to Forbes, “Following the Supreme Court’s landmark 1954 decision in Brown v. Board of Education, which enforced the constitutional prohibition against segregation in public schools, school vouchers became a popular tool for perpetuating the segregation the Court had ruled unconstitutional.”

Many private schools, especially elite ones such as Catlin Gabel, catered to wealthy white families who could afford to avoid underfunded and more integrated public schools.

Just looking at CGS’ student and faculty population, as well as the communities adjacent to campus, clues you into the disparity of educational experience between CGS and local Portland Public Schools such as Roosevelt.

At CGS, the high, and increasing, cost of tuition, as well as its geographical location in the suburbs, create barriers to lower-income students and racial minorities. Although the school continues to provide financial support to many families, these hurdles cannot be overlooked.

Part V: What CGS Is Trying to Do Better

Black History Month Assembly at Catlin Gabel, left to right: Bianca Haldorsen, Brittany Haldorsen, Niah Sei, Joshua Hamlett | Photo By Ava Yu

The immediate response of the school was a series of timely assemblies and C&C activities aimed at disruption techniques and scaring the perpetrator or perpetrators out of committing an act again.

Diaz Gonzalez did not think the school’s response was necessarily effective.

“I am glad that they were able to address the situation and I think it was productive to do those kinds of activities, but the amount of attention they drew to the action, I think it gave it even more power. … I understand it's an issue and I personally think it’s not okay, but I don’t think all Catlin students, or at least the Upper School students, have to sit through one hour-long assemblies speaking of the same thing over and over again.”

Although not satisfactory to all, Babino pointed out that, “when we don’t know who perpetrated the act of vandalism and wrote the offensive, racial slur, then consequences may be felt by all and unfortunately, even those who are closely affected by the act.” The administration is in some ways hitting a roadblock.

However, there are several systemic ways CGS is attempting to combat racism and bigotry at school.

“In late 80s early 90s, there was an effort to bring students of color into the school, whether reduced tuition or no tuition,” Garcia-Rubio shared, “and that was effective in generating student diversity, but there wasn’t necessarily faculty diversity to mirror that or the skill set to support students in all the ways in which student need to be supported. It’s not just a matter of increasing the number of people, but how do you generate a sense of belonging, how do you ensure that the policies and practices are actually in support of that diversity.”

The school continues to attempt diversity through supporting lower-income families. This school year, CGS reported $5.3 million dollars went to financial aid, and that around a quarter of the students on campus are receiving assistance. This percentage was clarified to be 27%, higher than OES’ 21%.

The administration hopes to listen to patterns in student feedback, namely, the requests for greater faculty diversity, more emphasis on multiculturalism in curriculum, and balancing education on oppression with that of the culture and joy of minorities.

Recently, Assistant Head of School Barbara Ostos spoke to the Upper School about the Strategic Inclusion Plan made by administrators in hopes of addressing the most pressing inclusion concerns at the school.

The Strategic Inclusion plan will be implemented throughout the next three years and includes the core of CGS's new and improved equity approach.

“We know now that diversity alone is not enough to ensure educational excellence; we also must strive to be equitable and inclusive if we are to achieve our mission and live by our values,” the document reads.

The three year inclusion plan includes curriculum and teaching reform, understanding marginalized perspectives and experiences to create an inclusion and belonging assessment tool for students, families, and employees, and actions to increase diversity and provide an equitable and empowering environment for underrepresented groups.

“Seems okay but it’s just a plan, not confident [it] will be followed through on,” an anonymous student wrote in response to the survey about the plan shared with students.

Other respondents seemed skeptical. “Will they actually do anything? Why didn't they do this before? Seems very performative, honestly.”

Another concrete step the school has taken is through teacher training with the Equity Design Team.

“A lot of the work that the faculty are doing in examining their own practices and what biases we are bringing to our curriculum or the creation of different policies are getting at the root,” Harnetiaux explained. The teachers meet once a month in small groups and use case studies to apply what they have learned.

It is important to note that three members of the Equity and Inclusion office have recently left CGS or are on their way out, those being Director of Inclusion and Outreach, Jasmine Love, Director of Community Engagement, George Zaninovich, and Upper School teacher and Equity Literacy Professional Learning Coordinator , Krystal Wu.

Part VI: Can CGS Ever Be Anti-Racist?

Ibram X Kendi, author of How to Be An Antiracist defines an antiracist as “someone who is expressing an antiracist idea or supporting an antiracist policy with their actions…I define an antiracist idea as any idea that says the racial groups are equal.”

To be an antiracist institution, policies have to be actively counteracting racism rather than just calling out racist behavior. Given the nature of Catlin’s participation in the history of private schools, we asked Harnetiaux and Garcia-Rubio if CGS could ever be an anti-racist institution.

“I have yet to see any institution that's been able to become anti-racist. My gut reaction is I don’t think that a school, a private school, can actually be truly and purely anti-racist. Do I think it can make some significant strides to deconstruct systems of oppression? Yeah, I do believe that. I think that the part that always gets me with this question, and my answer is not said with a lot of confidence, … is that anytime you have something set up that is going to give an advantage to someone else because of the resource that they have, then someone is going to lose out as a result,” Harnetiaux explained.

The benefit of a Catlin education is awarded to the highest-performing and wealthiest (these two traits often being linked), while those who do not meet this mark are often left in the dust.

Along this vein, an argument against private schools is that they take much needed resources away from their public counterparts. This disparity in funds, motivated parents, etc. makes education in urban areas worse, and pushes more families to pay for better opportunities, in turn widening the educational gap.

Garcia-Rubio had ideas to offer in defense of private education and its role in the lives of minority students.

“On the flip side of that, I have heard some arguments made when I have attended the People of Color Conference or some other education environments with other administrators … that disproportionately in a good way, independent schools facilitate students who come from minority populations including socio- economics moving into opportunities for growth that disrupt those systems.”

Garcia-Rubio said she did believe that a private school could be anti-racist, but that it would require considerable resources.

For the case of an anti-racist private school being possible, Garcia-Rubio argued that “if the school was entirely need blind and had sufficient funds to offer… and if the curriculum and the diversity and the pedagogy were inclusive and created a sense of belonging for students, I could see that [an anti-racist school] happening. I mention the need-blind piece because then it would be equal access to everybody, like anybody who wanted to apply and was admitted would be able to afford the school, which is the private component.”

“We are not a need-blind school.” Garcia-Rubio asserted the importance of a need-blind system since “the causes of inequality are rooted in capitalism.”

However, even if CGS was need blind, wealth can determine how qualified a student appears or how well they perform academically, which could affect their admittance into a high-profile school like CGS. Combined with opportunities like tutoring, special attention at home, and better funded schools, some wealthy schools could also be guilty of grade inflation.

Regardless of whether the school can ever be truly anti-racist or not, there is no question that CGS needs to continue the work of disrupting racism. And since we all attend this school, we must deal personally, and communally, with the effects of racism and white supremacy on our campus.

Babino did leave us with a glimmer of hope.

“Generally, close-mindedness and privilege go hand-in-hand. Catlin’s changing culture appears to be one of opening minds. The process is messy, delicate, flimsy, frustrating, and sometimes unforgiving. I’m glad that there IS a process.”

The n-word scandal exposed a deeper level of racism at Catlin Gabel